All these things

The things that make you laugh
Those ‘jokes’ that lighten your heart
The things you think are funny
Are bags of words that
You bundle up and bruise me with
And i let you
I let you
Indifference tearing my warmth up
Coldness frosting my heart
The color of now makes me not wish to see that of the next dawn.
I mean not next to you.
It is nothing like last spring
You were once what I wished for
And now you have changed my mind

I ask who can I call and it’s never you
I wrong myself for allowing me to get lost in you
And then I forgive you.
Why should I allow you to be my darkness
When I can be somebody’s light?
Accept short moments of tolerance
Be a slave to your arrogance
When I know there is passion in abundance
Inside of me asking to dance
There I was once
Thinking I knew which way was which
And now I am inside out
Spilling my guts, my hungry heart
On the pavement under your feet
Those feet I helped walk all over me
Begging for a kiss from those lying lips
Every word you say a dagger in my rainbow
Every time you laugh ice on my cold sore
Every single tear a lost battle
I know I know I know
Somebody broke you
So you won’t get fixed
But I am no fixer
No sir, I am not.

-Mpinga-