Sometime in November

Sometime in November of 2009, this was happening;

Yebabaweee!!   His first kinyarwanda word that wasn’t prompted by cousins or aunts/uncles.
My son and I watch TV together, and I am starting to realise it is not a good idea. Especially after Sylvie posted this.
So this time he sees a couple kissing on the screen and goes: Eh-bubba-way! 
I am like: What? hahaha, what did you say? 
And he answers that when you see people kissing you should say that. He did not care to explain why? Or who told him that, he had already moved on. On account of the attention span of a 3 year old not being that long, you know?
He once told me that it was “awesome” to have a girlfriend. And I asked if he had one. He said: Yes, You mamma! When I asked what one needs a girlfriend for, he said ” For giving flowers and hugs”
Another time, another tv show. He turns to me and says: mamma, i love you. 
Me: I love you too baby.
Antsa: Mamma, i think we should get maried!
Me: What, you and me?
Antsa: Yes! I can put on black clothes and bring you a flower, and then you will be very happy and ...”
Read the rest HERE
That was three years ago, and it is so hard to believe how much the little boy has grown!
On Thursday last week i went to pick him up from school and he told me “Mamma I have a girlfriend now. It is Nell”
I asked if Nell was aware she was his girlfriend and he told me “She asked me!”
On Friday as we were going home he told me he has no girlfriend. Nell had broken it off. After barely 24 hours? OK. I asked if he was sad, he told me “No, there are many other girls who are in love with me. “
And yesterday when i went to pick him up, i found him laying on the ground, with Nell sitting on him.
I swear.
I did not dare ask any questions.
Nell told me as i was leaving “I am in love with him so i kiss him all the time”
That’s my future daughter-in-law situation so far.
I am not doing too well. In fact i am in bed sick, but that has nothing to do with anything.
The reason I am feeling down is that he won’t let me kiss him anymore. It could be Nell’s fault. But i won’t start blaming her before he wifes her, there will be time enough for that later when I accuse her of not being a good mum to my grand’children.
My six-year-old son won’t let me kiss him goodbye or hello at school, he says it is embarrassing.  Also, he feels like a ‘nerd’, (his word!) when I hold his hand in public. A hug is still okay though, but not a real hug like I am used to, it is an awkward side-thing that i thought was only for cousins you have just met.
He has finally become a preteen at the tender age of almost seven!
The question I am asking myself is “How do I feel about him growing up and away from me?” Surely I knew this would happen, I just thought it would be years from now!
I thought he’d wait until I finally grew up and got the emotional equipment to deal with such things. But I think he is on to me, he must have realized I am never going to grow up, so he is doing it for both of us!
It’s wonderfully frightening to watch, as it seems I can only stand by and watch. Today I was so dizzy after a walk (I am sick, remember  fever, sore throat, etc) that he helped me take my coat and my shoes off. It felt good. Letting him take care of me like that.
The good news is that he is quick to get back into character, and act his age again. It is very annoying AND reassuring.


  1. I actually cried reading this (I surprised myself) …. I just thought about how sometimes I just let my mother cream my back for me, I am 26 years old, I know BUT I just let her anyway. Why? Because I want her to still call me her baby, like this she knows that she is still important, even though I am a woman just like her too. He is still a child, being grown-up is the ideal in his eyes, when he becomes a man – he will crave your hugs and kisses.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poor you!!! Et pauvre de nous qui voyons nos enfants grandir!!!
    Hier soir je regardais une série, ça s’appelle les Parent et c’est canadien. Le fils ainé a ramené sa copine à la maison pour passer la nuit. La maman rentre dans la salle de bain et trouve sa future « belle-fille » entrain de se brosser les dents, s’excuse toute gênée! Celle-ci pose sa brosse et répond d’un air un peu insolent (comme savent le faire les teenagers) « oh pas de problème, vous pouvez y aller !». Elle sort. Rentre ensuite le fils ainé qui prend la même brosse et commence à s’en servir. La maman le regarde ahurie. L’autre lui dit « oh t’inquiète, elle n’a pas pris sa brosse alors je lui prête la mienne, entre nous c’est comme ça (tout fier, teenager) ». Et la maman de dire: “ce n’est pas ça qui me gène, c’est seulement que cette brosse à dents est la mienne ». Le fils ainé de cracher, limite vomir. D’utiliser la brosse à dents de sa maman le dégoûte alors que de partager celle de sa copine ne le gêne pas!!!!
    Je n’attends pas ça avec impatience moi!!! Mon 3ans d’amour en rentrant d’école me serre très fort contre lui: « oh Maman tu m’as manqué!!! Allez manque-moi manque-moi (en me faisant des bisous) »…

    Liked by 1 person

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